Have you ever "done your best" before?

You know, I'm not sure I ever really have.  Maybe I've gotten close, but I don't think I can honestly say that I've tried my "best" at anything.  Even saying that I've gotten close seems like a stretch.

As a child of the 80's, I grew up with every movie, afternoon special, and picture book telling me that I could be whatever I wanted to be.  My parents, being good parents, reinforced the message... and to this day, I truly believe that, if I put my mind to something, there's nothing I can't accomplish.

Rock star?  I could be one if I tried.  Olympic ice skater?  It would be tiring, but I could do it.  Head of a non-profit organization that helps billions of people worldwide?  Sure, with some elbow grease.  Fluent in 10 languages?  Of course!

But... I'm none of those things... and it makes me feel like a failure.  Why, if I really believe that I can accomplish anything, (and I really do believe it,) haven't I already done something amazing?  What's my excuse?

Well, my excuse is that I've never really tried before.  I've never really set my mind to anything.  I've learned things, earned awards, created art and music... but I've never learned as much as I possibly could.  I've never worked as hard as I could to achieve a goal.  I've never created the most beautiful artwork I could imagine.

But, why not?

Today, as I sat on my couch with the TV on and my computer on my lap, this really started to bother me.  I thought, "Why am I just sitting here?  What am I accomplishing?"  Naturally, being the center of my life right now, my thoughts drifted to training.

"I'm overweight, weak, and slow... and yet I study karate.  What kind of karateka am I?  Why am I sitting here watching TV and thinking of eating junk food?  Why, being so bored, am I not trying to accomplish something great?"

I decided to go into the basement and exercise.  I ended up doing 10 miles on the treadmill, about 7 of which were power walking, and the rest, running.  I did sit-ups, push-ups, and lifted weights.  I did kata.  The whole time I told myself, "Do your best.  Do your best."

And did I do my best?  Certainly, I did more than normal.  Certainly, I pushed myself harder than I usually do.  But, my best?  No.  I didn't do my best.  When my body cried out to me, I stopped running.  I stopped doing sit-ups.  I stopped doing kata.

But, my body lies.  I could have run just one more mile.  I could have done just one more sit-up.  I could have done just one more kata.  In my opinion, if I haven't passed out from exhaustion... if I can still move... I haven't done my best.

I often think about the limits of my body.  If I were forced to run until I couldn't go on any longer, how far could I go?

And why didn't I run that far today?