x-posted to muchimi

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Wow... It's really been forever.

I don't really know what happened.  I just suddenly... didn't feel like updating anymore.  It's funny, because a lot of very important things have happened in my martial life since I last posted...  I sparred all class for the first time, and didn't feel like a total idiot.  I went to my first "seminar" and expanded my idea of what martial arts and artists can be.  I went out for drinks with some of my senior, senior senpai and started to feel more like a real member of the dojo.  I got a new enthusiastic kouhai, (and took forever showing him how to tie his obi)!

I guess part of the reason why I haven't been posting is because I no longer have that bursting need to describe everything that happens at my dojo to everyone I know... I guess now that I have other outlets, like my dojo-mates and other friends interested in the arts, I don't feel as lonely in my obsession.  That's probably what it all boils down to.  I post when I'm lonely... and I've been lonely an awful lot this year.  Maybe it's getting better...?

Another reason I haven't been posting is because I kind of want to change the format of my posts.  Instead of just being a record of my training, I'd like to make them more like a series of essays on being a beginning karateka.  I mean, who wants to just read "Today we did elbow strikes!"  "Today we did knee strikes!"  "Today we did sanchin!" over and over again?  Of course, class is different every day, so it's not like any of my entries would be exactly the same... but by continuing to write the way I've been writing, I'm really sucking a lot of the depth out of my experiences.  My dojo, the people in it, and the experiences I have there are so much more than a list of events that I feel extremely shallow presenting them as such.

You know?

Wow... It's been a long time.  I skipped three whole days of posting!  Don't worry, though.  Even though I missed class by accident on Wednesday, I made sure to go on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday! I'm going to try to make this a short entry, since I'm obviously getting a bit tired of relating every little thing that happens in class... but it'll probably end up long anyway.

I've been down again this week, which is probably one of the reasons why I haven't felt much like posting.  People are really starting to pick up on it, though, especially D-san.  I need to try to snap out of it...

Oh!  I went to the doctor to get my knees checked out! Apparently, I suffer from patella subluxation (partial kneecap dislocation) and joint hypermobility syndrome (I'm too flexible)! Whee~

What does that mean? That means that I'm going to have to get knee braces fitted, start taping my ankles, and do a hell of a lot of toning to strengthen my joints. Apparently, being too flexible is not a good thing, and just makes me more likely to get injured. The doctor basically said that if someone put me in a violent armbar, my arm would just snap in half.

He also told me I'm the most flexible woman he's ever seen. But, how was I supposed to know ankles aren't supposed to move like that? It's all I've ever known.

Sensei's all proud of himself because he "diagnosed" me correctly. In other words, one time, a few months ago, he called me "Gumby." (Yes, apparently that was a diagnosis.) "The doctor told her what I told her months ago~" he said to the class Thursday, looking all proud.

I need to start being careful... Sensei might be right about other things too... like when he called me "slimy"... Could that mean that I have some kind of weird slime disease???

L-san told me that he passed a crash on the highway and saw a girl on a cellphone that looked like me.  He said he was worried.  I thought that was sweet.

Lots of kata for the brown belt boys on Thursday.  Good for me... extremely tiring for them.

Today, H-san asked Sensei if he could have a heavier chiishi. (Nice!) Sensei just made him use two instead. "You are Higaonna!" he said.

Thursday was muchimi themed! So there was a lot of sanchin, a lot of kakie, and a lot of other muchimi-related things. We even did kakie in the dark.

Friday was mawashi geri themed. We did basic mawashi geri, and then mixed it up a bit and did a bunch of fakes. Mawashi geri that looks like it's going to be a heel kick... mawashi geri that looks like it's going to be a front kick... mawashi geri from the ground... mawashi geri at multiple heights. I think my form really improved.

And, today, we did lots more sanchin. Actually, I guess today's class was a bit like a mix of the rest of the week. We did sanchin with our eyes closed once. That was fun. It's weird not looking at it in the mirror, though. I wonder what my form looked like.

My mawashi uke is getting much better!

S-san came back today, after about a month of being gone. I'm glad. He's such a nice guy.

Well, that's enough for now. Back with more soon!

x-posted at muchimi

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The feel of cool air on my bare skin is beautiful.  The night sky is beautiful.  Each and every smile I saw today was beautiful.  The world is absolutely beautiful.

I seem to be a little more cheerful today, no?

Today was the best day that I've had in a very long time.  The school I used to hate working at last year seemed like a much brighter place this afternoon... Probably because I got to make two terrified little girls laugh.  I really think I'm going to like those two...  You know, I used to despise kids.  I wonder what happened.

In karate news, since that's what we're all here for, today's class went fantastically.  I didn't perform particularly well or anything, and my kata were atrocious, but I still left feeling like I was on top of the world.

The dojo was packed today.  Why is it that large classes always manage to so beautifully foster that mysterious and addictive brand of groupthink that forces people to push well beyond their usual limitations?

Today's class had a number of highlights.  Some of the best included having shime performed on me during sanchin for the first time, seeing a whole room of people do my favorite kata, and, yet again, answering lots of questions that are well above my rank requirements.  <3

But, by far, the best part of today was watching H-san, D-san, and L-san officially enter the final stretch on their road to black belt.  Their month-long test seems like it has officially begun, and today's class marked the first time that all three got a taste of what their final test is going to feel like.  Classes lately have been difficult, and the vibe in the dojo has been changing... becoming more intense, and more exciting... but, until now, no one had been asked to push himself quite this hard...

A black belt test at my dojo is very organic... almost like a living thing... and it's been really thrilling to watch so far.  I feel honored to be able to participate.

The other big news of the day is that my mother came to watch the end of class today for the first time.  She'd never been in the dojo before, and really had no idea what I did there.  And... I think she was slightly terrified by the hoards of sweaty, heavily breathing men making serious faces and kicking at one another.

It's kind of a shame that she didn't get to see me do all that much, since the focus of the class was on the brown belts, but it was also kind of nice that she chose today, since she got to see a really exciting example of what class can be like.  I think she now has a better idea of why I find it so damn intoxicating.

After class, Mom and I spoke to Sensei for a while, and she told him all the nice things I say about him at home.  I would have been embarrassed, but I guess I just genuinely want him to know all of those things anyway.

I think Sensei smiled at me more than usual today... and not just awkward, break-the-tension-in-my-class smiles, but real, heartfelt, lots-of-eye-contact smiles.

But, I'm probably imagining things.  :p

It's raining today.  It doesn't make me sad, though.  I like how it's falling down so straight and evenly... no wind.  Just pure rain.  I wonder why I prefer it that way.

Why do I care so much about karate?  Why is it so important to me?  Why do I spend hours each day thinking about it... talking about it... writing about it... obsessing over it?  What is it that draws me in?  Why am I willing to sacrifice so much for it?  Am I compensating for something?

Class today was fun... Answered some questions, flung around a chiishi, did some sanchin.  H-san's father came back after a hiatus.  He's a yellow belt, like me.  Seems like a nice man.

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By the way, I've started x-posting these entries at muchimi.com.  After a while, I might start posting full entries there, and summaries here... And, I've been thinking of publishing a webcomic there.  We'll see.

I met another black belt today!  (Another C-san!  This is going to get confusing.)  It seems like a ton of people are coming back to class after long hiatuses, and I'm absolutely thrilled about it.  When old students come back, I get to meet new people, but class can just continue as usual.  No "breaking in" of kouhai has to occur, and I get the benefit of training with people with a lot of experience.

I know I sound pretty selfish saying that, and I really  do feel badly about it.  Unfortunately, it's just how I feel.  I love being the enthusiastic kouhai.  I love having no pressure on me.  I love being complimented for acheiving, and being excused for screwing up.  I love being teacher's pet.  The idea of new students just scares me.  What if they're much better than I am, and have much more natural talent?  What if they're cuter?  What if they know more Japanese?  (Clearly, I'm dealing with general insecurity issues here.)

Sensei's been pushing me to act more freely lately, but I'm not really making much progress with it.  Today, he tried to get us to do some freestyle moves based off of sanchin.  He talked on and on about it, and gave tons of ideas, ("This could be an arm bar."  "Try this likea  boxer."  "Try this like you're doing uechi ryu.") but I just stood there frozen while everyone else waved their hands around and made stuff up.  Yesterday, he had me lead kokyu undo, which scared the hell out of me... And, of course, all the heavy bag stuff we've been doing lately...  It's all very stressful.

By the way, just a note to everyone... Yes,  I have been depressed lately, but it's not about my training at all.  Training is the one thing that makes me really happy lately, no matter how badly I do.  So, when I talk about where I need improvement, please don't think I'm being too hard on myself.  That's just what happens when you're a super perfectionist like I am.

As far as what we did in class today, (since I guess I should mention that,) we basically did hojo undo.  Chiishi, tan, kongoken.  I love that stuff, even though I totally suck at it.  I guess I just love pain.

I'm writing these things later and later at night... It's getting to be a bit ridiculous.

Today, I woke up at 5:00 PM.  It's amazing how screwed up my schedule can get when I don't set my alarm.  My body just seems to run on 48 hour days... 24 hours of sleep, 24 hours of awake time.  I kid you not.  This is how I would naturally sleep if left to my own devices.  Anyway, when I woke up today, I basically just had time to get ready for class, and head out the door.

Remember back a number of entries when I said that I always seem to know when we're going to have a gi-top-off sanchin day?  Well, I was wrong.  I had that feeling before class today... but there was no sanchin.  However!  We did take our tops off for something else!  I guess what I really have is just a nakedness sixth sense of some sort.  Hmm...

I realized, today, that explaining doing sanchin without a gi top to a non-martial artist is absolutely impossible.  What it basically boils down to is, "We take our shirts off, breathe really loud, and watch ourselves making muscles in the mirror."  Of course, there's a lot more to sanchin, but when you really don't have much time to explain it, or you're talking to someone who really doesn't care, that's what ends up coming out.

So, we started off class today (after warming up, of course) by taking our gi tops off, and doing some chiishi work.  I swear, the chiishi at school are so much heavier than the one I made.  I'm glad I put (what I thought was) too much cement into mine, because otherwise it would be much too light.  The ones at school, however, are way too heavy for me.  I can do some of the exercises fairly well, but when I have to roll the chiishi up and around my shoulder, I can barely move the thing.  My left arm is especially useless, and I always have to support the chiishi with my right hand, to make sure my left arm doesn't snap in half.  I'm not even sure which muscles that movement uses.  What's weak?  Is it my forearm?  My shoulder? My wrist?   A combination of things?  Whatever it is, it looks like I'm really going to have to start taking advantage of the fact that I actually own a chiishi, and start using it as much as possible.

Speaking of taking gi tops off, I noticed today that B-san has a tattoo down his back that reads "bushido."  I thought that was pretty cool.  It looked like he had another tattoo on his arm, but I didn't get a good look at it.  I try not to stare at people in class when they're half naked, you know.  I'm always amazed by how in shape everyone at my dojo is, though, and sometimes it's hard not to admire them.  A lot of people there look very thin in normal clothes (including Sensei) and a few look rather stocky... but, well... they're really all quite well built.  I'm both kind of proud and kind of disappointed that I'm probably in the worst shape of almost anyone at my dojo.

I guess the theme of today was grabbing.  After working with the chiishi, the more advanced students did seiyunchin <3 and we practiced intercepting a jab by grabbing the sleeve.  I... definitely don't have very good timing when it comes to that.  I couldn't even get a good grip on anyone when they basically held their arms still for me.  Besides that, when we were supposed to grab our partners, step to the side, and do a roundhouse kick to their face, I could never seem to step back properly.  It's weird because I feel like I've definitely done that better in the past... just like the techniques we were doing yesterday.

I started out class in a terrible mood today, and D-san noticed right away.  He then told me to snap out of it, because when I walk over the threshold onto the training floor, I'm supposed to forget all of my troubles and focus on training.  I guess I must look pretty pitiful sometimes.  During class, I felt much better, of course... but, when I left, I just got depressed again.  It just hasn't been a good year... not a good year at all.

When I osu'ed Sensei and B-san goodbye, and started up the stairs, Sensei started calling to me, "L-san! L-san! Wait!" and jogged over to the door.  He then told me again to call up his doctor to see about my knees.  I thought that was sweet.

Today was my first day back to class since last Friday... and, let me tell you, I really needed it.  When I entered the dojo, it was like coming home... and, when I left, it felt like leaving it again...

I was met by the sight of about a dozen new, black, tatami-style mats today.  They really complement the green mats we already have, and help tie the whole look of the dojo together (as well as provide more mat space for ukemi and hojo undo, obviously.)  Sensei was annoyed that they were scuffing so easily, but I thought they still looked lovely.

Two brown belts that never show up on Wednesdays decided to show up today, giving class a slightly different feel than usual.  A usual Wednesday is just a small classes of beginners.

If I had to choose a theme for today, it would be "flowing."  To work on this concept, we did sensitivity training in shikodachi, and then worked off of it, doing two techniques that require ukemi.  One technique, which we've done before, was catching a mawashi geri (roundhouse kick,) stepping in, and sweeping the tori.  The other, (which I think we've also done before, although less often,) starts by blocking a hook punch to the head with a hiki uke (hook block,) then snaking your arm over the tori's shoulder and under his leg, forcing him into a roll.

I often have trouble with flowing, at least in a karate setting.  I'll start a technique tentatively, glance at Sensei, do slightly more of the technique, think for a moment and cock my head to the side, continue the technique...  This is a problem, not only because it affects the way that I spar and do kata, but because it means that I'm a bad partner for drills.  I slow the class down.  I sometimes jerk on my joint locks, rather than doing them slowly and smoothly.  It makes me feel terribly guilty.

Sensei actually giggled at me today, which I found both amusing and slightly embarrassing.  Apparently, my attempts to demonstrate flow in a freestyle way are actually laughable.  He came to me a number of times and demonstrated, and I was able to follow along, but everything fell apart when I was given free reign.

Sensei described watching me as being like helping a child learn to ride a bicycle.  I guess he meant that I fell off.

Some other advice he gave to me today... If I screw up a technique, and don't do it exactly in a kihon way, follow through anyway.  Take that thing I do with my shoulders when I'm confused, and do it when I'm being attacked instead.  And, finally, ice my knees, just to see if it does anything.  Will do, Sensei.

Other thoughts:

• Today, I answered a bunch of unusual vocabulary questions during class, including the words "getabako" and "noren."  I translated them all slightly differently than Sensei seems to understand them, though.
• Lately, I've been worried that my attitude towards my kouhai resulted in her not showing up for the last few weeks.  I hope it's just that she's been on vacation, and not that I seemed rude the last time I saw her.  I was awfully quiet that day.
• I hope I don't drop my chiishi on my computer.
• A year ago I was in Urumqi...  This tugs at my heart.

Ai ya!  Another record!  I haven't posted on here in... 4 days?  That's two whole days of karate class, plus time this weekend training with my friend.  Freaky, huh?

Unfortunately, when I don't post every day, I forget a lot.  But, I'll try my best to remember, since I know you all enjoy reading about me so much.  (Why that is, I have no idea.)

Let's see... Thursday was... Thursday... I think I had a good class.  I honestly forget what we did... Think, think, think... Who the heck showed up? Ohhh!!  I remember now!  On Thursday, we sparred all class!  Yeah... how could I forget that?

I guess I did fairly decently.  Or, actually... I did horribly.  But, I did better than I've done before, and that's all that matters.  I think very linearly during sparring, unfortunately, so I tend to just back up to the wall a lot when defending.  My partner will always just push into me until I get close to the office, and then ease off and let me walk forward until we reach the middle of the room again.  (It looks pretty lame.)  That is, except for B-san.  B-san just wails into me (gently and kindly) until I curl into a fetal position and try to drift off to the side.  Watching me fight must be pretty funny.

I honestly can't remember too much else about class on Thursday.  Mostly, I just tried my best to punch and kick people a lot, while not oozing spit from the hole in my mouthguard.  After class, we talked more about those crazy parties the dojo seemed to always have in the 80's... I'm starting to feel nostalgic for them, even though I was never there.

Also, the feeling of taking off your headgear after sparring is so kimochi.

Friday's class was also fun.  Since it was Labor Day weekend, and class was canceled on Saturday and Monday, more people than usual showed up.  It was me, V-san, K-san, and C-san.  All I remember about that class was trying to bob and weave around a padded stick...

Oh, wait... I recall now...  Yes... Friday was extremely challenging for me.

Basically, we did heavy bag work the whole day, focusing on specific punches, blocks, and kicks.  This is all well and good, except that I still suck at anything where I'm required to act freely.  I just can't seem to be very creative or flowing, especially when someone (Sensei) is watching me.  I overthink everything.  It's weird, because when I'm screwing around and wrestling with a friend or something, I have very little trouble finding openings or moving naturally...  When it becomes "sparring," though, something freezes me up.

Sensei told me on Friday, "You can do a lot more than you think you can."

One of my friends mentioned that the way I talk about Sensei, he sounds like a walking parable.  I guess I'm just good at taking things out of context and making them sound wise.  Not that I don't think Sensei gives good advice.  It's just that I sometimes take offhand comments a little more seriously than I think he means them.  It's just like Sensei says... People constantly misunderstand one another's meanings... Advice is taken as insults... Neutral comments are taken as compliments...  (There I go with the walking parable thing again~)

Then, late Friday, my friend (from the internet) came to visit.  He does goju also, so I actually got to see some real-life goju outside of the context of my dojo, which was awesome.  Having kata at your command is fantastic.  Totally better than waiting and hoping that Sensei decides to have the class do one.  Plus, I got to see a bunch of kata I never get to see at my dojo, since so few people are high enough in rank to know them.  And, since he does a few other styles, I got to see their forms as well.  Awesome.  <3

We trained for a number of hours on Saturday, but that's basically all.  I learned some techniques that he's learned that aren't in my curriculum, which was cool, including a judo throw and a kata w/ bunkai.  I can't quite remember how the whole kata goes, but I think I have the basic pattern mostly down now.  The footwork trips me up for some reason.

I'm thinking of going to a tui na practitioner for my knees.  But, first I'm going to go to my regular doctor to see what he has to say.  That way, I'll be able to tell the tui na guy, "The doctor says that I have this problem.  What do you recommend?"  My doctor might recommend laying off my legs for a while, but that's because he won't understand that I need to do karate.  The tui na guy is also a kung fu sifu, though, so I think he'll understand.

Well, that entry was actually shorter than I thought it might be.  I'm impressed.  I guess it's just that I waited so long to write anything that I forgot all the gory details.  Sad...

Today's karate class was extremely low-key, as only C-san and I showed up.  Basically, we ran through the kata we both know (stance kata, kihon dai ichi, dai ni, dai san, and sanchin) and Sensei critiqued them.  Once again, Sensei ended up talking about sanchin for over an hour, describing, in detail, the correct placement of every part of our bodies, the correct way to tense each muscle, the way each part of us should feel during each part of the kata, and even the way we should think while doing it.  Hilarious anecdotes were not in short supply.  Someday, I'll write all of that down.

A few entries back, I mentioned a few reasons why Sensei doesn't use patches at our school.  Apparently, it's more complicated than that.  Today, he told us the story of how he used to have to change his patch so often that it just got ridiculous, and he gave them up entirely.  One example:  Once, he was told that he needed a particular patch to train with a particular teacher, so he bought a number of high-quality, expensive patches that looked nice, and would hold up well.  When he finally got to the dojo he was visting, however, he was told, "Uh... we're not using that teacher's patch anymore..."

Sensei said that a student of Bruce Lee (I don't know who) would wear a circle that represented nothingness, and that he liked the concept, but, "if you're going to wear something that represents nothingness, why not just wear nothing?"  Can't argue with that.

I got to hear a little more about Sensei's lineage today, which was neat.  I knew that he had studied with a number of teachers, but was never really sure how they were related to one another.  By the way, karate politics are totally ridiculous.  (And, did you know that "politics" can be followed by either a singular or plural verb?  The more you know~)

My ankle keeps cracking weirdly... and as fun as it is to be able to make a loud, snapping sound come out of my foot, I hope it goes away soon.  My knees seem pretty much healed, and the crackling has quieted down.  Currently holding my breath.

My yellow belt is finally starting to look cool.  It has just the right amount of bounce, without sticking up too much.  I hope it stays this shape.  It also doesn't smell like cement anymore, thankfully...

I think today was my 89th karate class  How shall I celebrate my 100th?

Class is canceled this Saturday and Monday for Labor Day weekend, but it's okay, since I'm having a karate friend come and visit.  Still, I wish I could go to class.  (Sometimes I forget that teaching is actually Sensei's job, and not just a hobby, and that he probably doesn't want to work every day.)

Sensei recommended this book:  http://www.budomall.com/product_info.php/products_id/350  but $100 is a bit steep for a girl with a crappy job, like me...  Anyone want to sell me a copy for cheap?  And, speaking of books, does anyone have copies of any of the books in Higaonna's "Traditional Karatedo" series?  I'd love to buy them, but they're awfully rare and expensive...

And one question:  I train in the dojo (and at home) barefoot, but I'd like to start training more outside.  I can go barefoot in my yard, but I'd also like to pick up some martial arts shoes, in case I want to train the the park or something. Something that has a little more give than sneakers, and feels a little more natural.  Any recommendations?

I've been down a lot lately, and today wasn't really any better.  Work today was horribly tedious, and I'm dealing with all kinds of depressing issues.  This year sucks.

Naturally, I felt better during karate, but even that didn't cheer me up the way it usually does.  D-san even asked, "What's wrong with you?" at the end of class.  I guess I must have looked too serious.  Usually, I smile and laugh a lot during class, but, today, I just put my all into trying to do exactly what Sensei told me to do.  On the positive side, I think I can do a pretty good backfist now.

It was a small Monday class... Only Sensei, three kyu, and two senior black belts showed up.  I hope more people start showing up again, now that summer is coming to an end.  I'm really trying to figure out ways to promote the school and get more students, but I can't think of anything...

Did I tell you that one of the fathers that watches class on Saturday actually asked me, "Don't you have vacation?"  Seriously, dude, I only see you once a week, and you're making fun of me for going to class too often too?? What the heck!?

Anyway, class was pretty varied today.  We did a slightly different warm-up than usual, and a number of different conditioning exercises that we don't typically do.  For example, Sensei had J-san hold my feet, and had me walk around on my hands.  (Somehow, this was supposed to improve our hiki uke.)  We did some kata... We did seiyunchin bunkai... We did tettsui uchi and uraken uchi...

D-san was put on the spot a ton today.  He had to do a bunch of kata on his own, answer a lot of questions,  and do gekisai sandan gi with each other person in the class one by one.  Sensei is definitely starting to prepare him for his black belt test...

In our school, I've heard that a black belt test actually begins 2-3 months before the official test date.  I'm not too sure about the details, though, since the whole thing seems to be a bit of a secret.  All I know is, training gets really hard for a while... You have to write some kind of essay... and then, on your test day, you have to spar for a good hour and a half, do kata, talk about the history of goju ryu...  I think that the test day itself is mostly about showing spirit.

I really can't wait to see D-san and H-san's black belt tests.  I wonder if they'll be tested together, since they're close in rank.

Sensei had a silly idea the other day... He said that he should have D-san fight his way to the top of the dojo building, kind of like a video game.  He'd start in the basement with the lower kyu ranks... then have to work his way up the stairs in the dark, watching his back as higher belts jumped out at him one by one... Finally, he'd reach the attic, and Sensei would be sitting there wearing goggles, Apocalypse Now-style, and say to him, sinisterly, "Ah, I see you've reached the top..."

Personally, I think that's an amazing and hilarious idea.  The only problem would be that I wouldn't get to watch anyone else spar.  Boo.

Also, I wanted to clarify what I meant when I was complaining about Olympic TKD a few entries ago.  I wasn't saying that I wanted everyone to be doing spectacular kicks and knock-outs.  Obviously, that would be unrealistic.  What I was saying was that I was expecting a little more variety in technique.  Everyone was fighting exactly the same way, and I hardly saw anyone throw a punch at all.  Where was the personal flair?  Where was the the "kwon?

Blah... I'm waiting until too late to write these things lately.  I need to make this short, so I can get to sleep.

Today, I went to a normal class for the first time since my knees started acting weird.  (Well, yesterday was a normal class too, but it was really low-key.)  My knees held up fairly well, and I had no pain afterwards, although they're a bit tight right now.  That could be from walking around the mall later in the day, though...  I'm still keeping a close eye on them, and hoping for a full recovery.

Today's class focused on timing.  If you read my blog with any regularity, you'll know that I'm not particularly fond of timing, since it involves hitting the speed bag... and I suck at hitting the speed bag.  I have good rhythm when it comes to music, and the timing of my kata isn't bad (I think,) but I just can't ever seem to hit the damn speed bag properly.  I guess I'm just not fast enough, or my hand-eye coordination isn't good enough yet.  By the end of class, I was a bit looser, and I think I had improved a bit, but who knows?

V-san dropped the chain from the heavy bag on the floor today, after Sensei told him not to.  So, Sensei made us all do push ups.  He told us it was because it's important to learn to listen, and not because he's anal about the floor... but I know it was really just because he's anal about the floor.  :)

My sanchin kata is improving, as well as my mawashi uke.  I am glad about this.  Maybe I'll get gekisai soon.

I ran through a pretty good kihon dai san today without messing up any of the movements.  I am also glad about this.  J-san, a black belt, complimented me on it.

Really small class for a Saturday today...  The kids class was small too.  I really need to think of some way to get more people to join the dojo.  Anyone in the area interested in an awesome goju school?

I'm still worried about my knees... so I'll probably see a doctor next week.  For now, though, I can't skip any more karate classes.  Skipping just kills me.

Today, class was really low key.  Maybe I'm just self-centered, but I think that Sensei deliberately made it so, because of my knees.  We didn't even do a normal warm-up today... we just started out with sanchin, and worked on it for the whole class.  For those who don't know, sanchin is a slow-moving kata that uses focused breathing and dynamic tension.  There are only four steps in the whole thing, and they're all sliding steps.  Your knees basically stay in the same position the entire time, besides sinking down and rising about an inch in one part.

I sometimes wonder if my obsession with Sensei is unhealthy.  Today, during class, he counted to 11 in Japanese, and I actually thought to myself, "Wow, I've never heard Sensei count to 11 before... Cool..."  And, I do wonder fairly often whether he thinks I'm cute...

You know, it's a really horrible idea to write this here... so, I'm going to stop now.  :/

Miss me?  I actually haven't written an entry since Monday.  I think that's a record.

First of all, I just want to say this:  Olympic TKD is ridiculous.  And, I don't mean that in a good way.  Is it really necessary to kiai like a maniac EVERY FREAKING TIME YOU MOVE?  It sounds especially ridiculous with the lower weight classes, since the women have such high voices.  Also, I'm really disappointed in the lack of variety of technique...  I feel like all anyone is ever doing is just standing constantly in the same stance and doing the same kicks over and over again... (and screaming.)

Okay, now that I got that out...

So, the reason I haven't written in a long time is because I had... a bit of an injury...  About two weeks ago, my knees started clicking when I walked down the stairs.  Since then, and especially after my test last week, my knees and lower thighs started to feel really tight, and I was having trouble standing up and sitting down.  I figured that I just overworked the muscles, and that they were sore, so I continued to train as usual, thinking that I'd adapt, and my muscles would loosen up.  But, on Tuesday, I felt worse than ever.  Still no pain... Just an intense feeling of pressure.

Late in the day, my mom looked at my legs and said, "... Are your knees swollen?"  And, yes, they were.

By that time, I was freaking out a bit... I couldn't figure out what was wrong, especially since the swelling was in both knees equally, and especially since there was still no pain.  I took a diuretic, which seemed to alleviate some of the pressure, and took some Advil in case there was any inflammation.  I also decided to rest and skip two karate classes - Wednesday, when I just stayed home and ate dinner with my brother, and today, when I went, but sat in the foyer and just watched.  (It's really hard to just watch...  They were doing gekisai bunkai today... Like, the full waza... *sigh*)

My legs are much better, and I don't notice anything when I'm not paying attention to them... so I'm going to attend class tomorrow and see whether they swell up again with the activity.  If they do, I guess I'll have to go to a doctor... *sigh*  I'm really hoping I don't have to do that.

If I have to get some kind of surgery (which seems unnervingly common for clicking knees) and can't go to karate anymore, I think I'm going to have a breakdown.

In happier news, I still got to hang around the dojo today after class.  It was funny... At one point, D-san and A-san start picking on me again about coming to class so often, and I complained about it to Sensei: "Months ago, they said it was GREAT that I come to class 5 times a week, and that they'd LOVE to come so often... but NOW, it's all, 'Get a life~ Go to the shore~ Go out and get a job~'" etc. etc.  Meanwhile, D-san and A-san were both talking to him at the same time, trying to convince him that they weren't picking on me.

Despite being totally different ages, the three of us act like siblings.

I actually can't think of much to say today, so I'll just give a little rundown of class.

I met a new black belt today -- another guy that just returned from an extended hiatus.  It's nice that all of these people are coming back, since I think Sensei's been worried about having too few students, but I kind of wish there were more new people.  As much as I don't like to be shown up by kouhai, I want the school to survive.

Class started out with sanchin kata, which I performed mediocrely.  (Apparently, spellcheck doesn't like that word.)  I don't really understand how to do the mawashi uke part, and I know my breathing was terrible.

Then, the others all did gekisai dai ichi, and we did the sandan gi drill that goes with it.  I'm definitely better at sandan gi now, which is nice.  I don't always feel like I'm falling behind, even though I'm still probably the slowest at it.

After that, we did foot sweeps for a while.  My form is terrible when I'm just shadowboxing, but when I'm kicking the heavy bag, or working with a person, I think I do fairly well.  Sensei also had us bounce to the beat of a metronome, and try to do the foot sweep off rhythm.  Yeah... I'm not so good at that.  Clearly, timing isn't my thing.

Finally, we sparred a bit.  I get very flustered during sparring, and kind of laugh nervously all the time.  (Or, maybe it's out of shame. Heh.)  I also have a bad habit of just trying to avoid being hit by continually backing up.  So, sparring with me looks a bit too linear...  One time, Sensei put up his arm behind me, and told me I wasn't allowed to go that way anymore.  Added to the fact that I never block with the correct hand, and the fact that I won't attack unless Sensei literally tells me, "Okay, now punch.  Now, kick.  Now do a combination," sparring really seems unnatural to me.

Today, my mother asked me, "How much sparring do you need to do to be a black belt?"  It almost made me cry, thinking of how far I have to go.

Can you tell I'm feeling a bit down today?

Here I am writing a third entry for the homepage... Ah well.  I'm not going to hold back just because of that!

As usual, today's karate class was a wonderful time.

I wonder if I'll ever have a karate class that I won't enjoy...  The way it's been going, it seems unlikely, but things do happen.  I guess maybe if I did really badly one day, it might throw me off... or, I guess if someone got hurt  *knock on wood*  that would ruin a class.  It's also possible, given my fickle nature, that I'll actually eventually tire of karate, get bored, and stop enjoying it as much...  I hope that never happens.

Honestly, one of my biggest fears lately is having something happen to Sensei... whether it's him getting injured, or just him deciding to retire.  I don't know what I'd do without him...

Anyway, why did I start talking about depressing things?  Back to class!

Today, we worked on sanchin kata again!  C-san was just learning it today, and I continued learning it from yesterday.  I always feel really stupid doing sanchin - partly because it's just kind of a funny-looking kata, and partially because not doing it right looks even funnier.

Speaking of worrying about how I look (not that that's what I'm really concerned with when doing sanchin) I hate that I feel like I have to wear makeup in class.  (In this case, I'm talking about makeup to cover my bad skin, not to "look pretty.")  In Gaku Homma's book, "Aikido Sketch Diary," he makes a comment that you shouldn't wear makeup in the dojo, because it just gets all over everyone else's gi... which is true.  When I was still wearing my beginner gi, I never thought it was a problem, but now that I wear the heavyweight one, I've noticed that my makeup is starting to stain my collar...  and since I'm so fond of a sharp-looking, white gi, this is very distressing.  I also know that it's just plain dumb to wear makeup when you're exercising, and I know that the people in my dojo aren't going to judge me on my bad skin or anything... but I can't help it.  I feel too self-conscious without it.  I wish I could be stronger in this respect.

So... er... back to class again.

There are so many things to think about while doing sanchin that I get kind of overwhelmed doing it.  Sensei spent nearly all class explaining the feeling we should have in each part of our body during different parts of sanchin.  (Toes apart and gripping the floor... arch pushed down... heel and big toe in contact with the floor when stepping, etc. etc.)  Even the breathing (especially the breathing?) is more complicated than I thought.  I just can't seem to be able to inhale for long enough... and how the heck do you get better at inhaling?

In other news, sanchin is working muscles that definitely don't get used that often... My legs are still sore like they haven't been in months, and my lats are killing me.  I want a massage SO BADLY.

Sensei was sweet today.  Since I was clearly not popping up from seiza the way I usually do, (since my legs hurt,) he told me at the end of class, "Get better."  My first thought was actually, "Huh?  Get better at what?"  But, then I realized what he meant.  It also seems like he's humoring me and letting me stay after class a little big longer than usual lately... but it could just be my imagination.  I've made it fairly obvious that I could just stand around the dojo for hours.

I've been thinking about self-discipline a lot lately...

It's a trait that I find extremely attractive in others, and would love to improve in myself.  From my ex-boyfriend, who I could leave for just seconds, but always find with his nose in a textbook upon my return... to many of the friends I've made through martial arts, who are able to control their desire to eat junk food, and train for hours and hours a day, just because...   I've always been extremely jealous of, but extremely drawn to those types of people...

I guess I feel like, if I were just a little more like them, I might have made something of myself by now.  But, I think it's deeper than that... I think it also just demonstrates a sort of mental strength that I find really magnetic.  Some girls are into strong bodies, (which I also appreciate, of course,) but I'm more into strong minds, I guess.

Anyway, it's just a thought

Yay!  The site's back...  I hate when it goes down for an evening.

So, today I was taught sanchin kata!!  I'd like to say I "learned" it, but I think it's going to be a while before I can say that and really mean it...

For those of you unfamiliar with goju ryu karate, sanchin kata is our "simplest," but most important, form.  It has the least movement of any goju kata (and possibly any kata of any style...) but is incredibly draining and difficult to master.  More so than in any other kata, you have to pay attention to being perfectly grounded, breathing perfectly, and keeping pretty much every muscle in your body tensed for the entirety of the form.  it's one heck of a ride... and a totally different experience than the kihon kata I know.  Look it up on Youtube!

When I woke up this morning, my legs were a little tense, as they've been a lot recently (probably from a lot of kicking-heavy classes) but nothing out of the ordinary.  I was honestly a little disappointed, since I figured that meant I didn't try hard enough on my test.  After class, though... I started to feel it.  And, right now, I can barely move my lower body.  I'm so tense, I literally can't bend my knees all the way, and everything from my calves to my butt is completely sore.

I wonder if the aftermath of my test just came a bit late, or if doing sanchin just pushed me over the edge...

...

Wait... it just hit me.  I learned a kata... I learned a real kata!!  Like, a real, real one!  Not just something designed for beginners, but a real, honest-to-goodness, official, designed-by-Miyagi goju kata!  :D  I feel like a real student now!

In other news...

I've always wondered why students at our dojo don't wear any patches.  (If you look at my recent promotion photos, you'll notice that my gi is just plain white.  Sensei's too.)  Nearly every other school seems to require one, if not many.  Personally, I think a plain gi looks very classy and humble, but I'm so proud of my school that I definitely wouldn't be opposed to wearing a simple patch with the school logo.  I never bothered asking Sensei about why we didn't have one, but the topic came up the other day after class...

Sensei told me, were his students to compete in tournaments, (which we don't typically do,) he would want them to be looked at as individuals.  He said that at tournaments, if you're wearing a patch with your school, or if your teacher is standing right behind, people will say, "Oh, that's Rohrman's school," or "Oh, that's so-and-so's student" and have preconceived notions or biases.  But, if you're not wearing a patch, people are thrown off.  "Ohh... who's that?"  they say.

Sensei said, if we won a tournament without wearing a patch, he'd be even more proud of us, since we'd have accomplished something in our own right.  It would be our own personal victory, and not just another trophy for the school case.

... I love Sensei

I got promoted!! I got promoted!! I got promoted!!!!!  I'm 7th kyu!!!  (That's a yellow belt.)  I know Sensei said that the first two promotions really don't mean all that much, but... I got promoted!!!  :D :D :D  Tomorrow, I'm going out to dinner to celebrate!

This day was completely awesome.  Not only did I finally get to give Sensei the gift I'd been working on forever, but I passed my yellow belt test too!!  (For those who don't know, kyu tests at my dojo are unannounced, so I didn't know it would be today.)  And, no, I wasn't promoted because I gave Sensei a gift.  :p

Here's how it went...

I arrived at the dojo at the normal time, cradling Sensei's gifts in my hands, making sure I didn't drop anything on the floor... especially the cupcakes, since that would have been a disaster.  I probably never would have gotten promoted, and would have had to do push-ups for an hour.

Alright, so I leave the gifts on the glass case in the lobby, get changed, go out on the floor and warm up, and all that jazz.  The class was bigger than usual today... L, A, D, V, and K-san were there, as well as  the yellow belt (whose name I will learn!!) and the two kouhai (W-san and B-san.)  I'm all pumped, ready to give Sensei his gift after class...

So, Sensei's warm up is a little more intense than usual... I don't think much of it, though.  After all, it's usually a little harder on Thursdays.

For the most part, the class focused on hiza geri, or knee strikes.  The upper level students did saifa to demonstrate, while I sat happily on the side, not suspecting anything...  We also did some blocking of kicks with our shins, using the same kind of movement.  I did... averagely on that part.  Of course, we did other things as well... mawashi geri... some general conditioning...

Finally, when there are about 10 minutes left of class, I notice that some of the other students are taking down the heavy bags... and that can mean only one thing.  Remember back in my last training-related entry when I said I had this horrible feeling that I'd start sparring today...?  Well... I did.  Heh.

Sensei tells everyone that has equipment to go and put it on.  I rush out of the room, since I think putting on my chest guard is going to slow me down... but I'm back in no time.  Of course, I manage to forget my mouth guard, so I have to interrupt everyone to go get it... but, at least putting on my chest guard was quick!

We all bow in a circle.  The higher-ups start sparring on Sensei's command... and D-san sits down with me and tells me the rules of free sparring.  No face, no groin, etc. etc.  I have to admit that I wasn't paying too much attention to what he was saying, since I was kind of freaking out.  I'll have to ask him to clarify later...

We pair up, and Sensei calls me over to work with him.  At first, he has me just follow his movements... going forwards and backwards, reading his intentions.  Then, he has me block his attacks...  and, then, finally, he had me attack.  It's funny... I always throw punches and kicks thinking that they'll connect... and they never do.  There's always this moment when I think to myself, "When I attack, my hand will be there, on his chest," but, then, when I actually punch, my hand will get blocked before I'm even close to hitting... and it always totally blows my mind.  I guess that sounds kind of silly, huh?

So, anyway, then we switch partners, and Sensei watches me, guiding me through similar things I'd done with him.  At this point, it's probably 8:00, and class should be over.  But... it's not.

Before I know it, I'm in front of the whole class, "sparring" with an upper level student.  After a minute or so, he gets switched out... but I'm still up.  I spar again... and my partner gets switched out again.  At this point, I understand: This is a test.  Not only is this my first day sparring... but I'm also being tested...  Holy crap!

After I spar with everyone above my level, Sensei asking me questions along the way, ("What's the word for side kick!?"  "What the name of this style of karate!?"  "What's 'kokoro!?'"  Nothing hard... unless you happen to be in the middle of sparring someone... which I was...) he calls for equipment off... and then calls me up to the middle of the room.  We do stance kata.  We do all three kihon kata, (at which I was totally fail.)  I demonstrate basic twist punch... front kick... elbow strikes, kakie, ude tanren... I can't even remember what else.

Before I knew it, we were doing kokyu undo, and class was nearly over.  Sensei left to go get my new belt, and I struggled to make my shikodachi look halfway decent.

Sensei calls "shugou" and we line up.  We do mokuso... we bow... and I'm called to the front of the room.  Sensei tells me, "You're an excellent student," shakes my hand, and says, "congratulations."  I bow to the class... I bow to Sensei... and go back to my spot.  When we stand, everyone is clapping...  I both hate and love that part of a promotion.  It's so awkward... but it still makes you happy.  I'm sure I was staring at the floor in embarrassment.  Then, everyone gave me a hug, and went to go get changed.

I honestly wish I had tried just a little bit harder on the test.  I was really distracted, today, though.  I was really having trouble focusing.  I don't like the idea of scraping by... so I'll just have to try harder from now on to make up for it.

Anyway, at this point, the fun was just beginning!  (despite already being a half hour later than class is supposed to run.)  I tell Sensei, "Your present!  You have to open your present..."  I won't go into all the details, since this entry has gone on quite long enough already, but, basically everyone shared the cupcakes, and I even managed to get a few photos, which you can see in my album.  V-san nearly ate a little paper cup...

At this point, everyone goes to leave, and I follow Sensei into his office so he can open the main part of the gift -- the little dog in a karate gi.  He was pretty quiet about the whole thing, but told me that he usually likes to open gifts in private, and that, later, he'd probably be playing with the thing, and saying to himself, "Wow!  This is really cool!"  So, I think he liked it, even if he was too shy to really tell me so.

As for the card?  He refused to read it until later, which is perfectly fine.  I think I would have been blushing had he read it in front of me.  Still, I would have liked to see his face...

After the gift, I stuck around a while and we discussed isshin shorinji ryu and school politics.  Then, at around 10:00, someone stopped by (Sensei's friend?  I have no idea,) and Sensei kicked me out.  Ah, well.  All good things must come to an end...  maybe.

Phew!  Well, I'll be back tomorrow with more karate news!  But, for now... I leave you with this thought:

... I GOT PROMOTED! YAY YAY YAY YAY YAAAAAY!!!!!!!

I know you've all been awaiting this "fabulous gift" I've been talking about for weeks now...  and it's finally ready to be revealed!  I just hope Sensei doesn't choose this day to sign up for this site, and ruin his own surprise.  I've even been a little nervous to upload photos to Flickr, since I've shown him photos on my Flickr before... I'm just banking on the assumption that he probably has better things to do on his birthday (today) than look at my photos on the internet!

So, with no further ado, here it is...

Below, you can see a white paper bag, decorated with a ribbon black "obi," and filled with pink tissue paper.  To the right, you can see a cake box and greeting card, decorated with pink, paper flowers, and another, similar "belt."  This one lacks a knot, however.

This entry'll probably take a long time for me to write, since I'm trying to watch the streaming olympic judo matches... but I figured that it would be really late if I started writing afterwards.  Please try to ignore any weird grammar or spelling mistakes.  I'm a bit distracted.  :)

So, today was a REAL Monday class!  By that, I mean that it was extremely tough, and Sensei was being extra demanding -- just the way Mondays should be... just the way I remember them being when I first started.  It was really, really awesome...  Since the two new kouhai joined, classes have been slower, and much more oriented towards basics, so there hasn't been a real "Monday" in a while.  (If my senpai saw me writing that, they'd probably laugh, since I'm sure they feel the same about me.)

Actually, it's kind of silly of me to imply that we didn't do basics today.  Today was VERY basics-oriented.  Sensei flew through all the kihon -- elbow strikes, punches, kicks, blocks...

It actually struck me as a "we're going to start sparring again soon"-themed class.  In fact, one of the things Sensei did was pull us each aside (as the rest of the class was going nuts on the heavy bags,) and had us block his punches, which I've never done before.  Interestingly, we were only supposed to use three kinds of blocks... two of which I've never done before: hiki uke (hook block,) some kind of forearm block, and some kind of ... shuto-looking block.  I just did my best.

I feel like we're going to spar on Thursday... I just have this feeling...  Although, I had the same feeling about today too, so, I could be totally wrong.  Still, I feel like today was supposed to gear me up for starting to spar, (among other things.)  And, actually, for the first time, I felt like I might be able to do it.  I was a little tentative on the heavy bag today, as usual, but when Sensei told us to freestyle some stuff, I didn't have nearly as much trouble as I normally do.  You know, I think I actually might not freak out when I spar for the first time.  I guess we'll see.

Speaking of freaking out... D-san totally freaked me out today.  Sensei came later than usual, so I was waiting outside the dojo for a while before class.  D-san drove up, and got out of his car... and the first thing he said to me, (besides, "You look tired,") was, "... How far are you willing to go for your training?"  I was, like, "WTF?  Does he want me to kill a man or join some secret society or something?"  I answered, "Uh... what?"  He repeated himself, "How far are you willing to go for your training?"  "Uh... fairly far?" I finally said.  I didn't want to promise him anything before I knew what he was talking about, you know?  :)

Anyway, apparently, since his black belt test is coming up in the next 6 months to a year, D-san really wants extra exercise and training time outside of class.  He was hoping I, and a number of other students, would want to train with him on Mondays and Thursdays after class.  I thought it was an awesome idea, although I'm not sure where we'd be able to do it.  He suggested the high school, but I'm not sure we're allowed on the property after dark.  In any case, any chance to train is a good thing.

After class today, I had one of the nicest conversations with Sensei that I think I've ever had.  I'm glad that he feels comfortable telling me personal stories.  It makes me feel... like I belong... or something.

Speaking of which, my mother keeps implying that Sensei and I are friends... but I'm not quite comfortable with that idea, I guess.  I guess I've just never had a teacher or a mentor who I could consider an actual friend, so it's a weird concept for me.  I wonder if Sensei would call me a friend...

Sensei's birthday is this week.  His present is almost complete.  I just need to write up and decorate his card, and bake some cupcakes.  Photos coming soon~  Also, my chiishi is almost done.  I just want to touch it up a little with more cement, and paint it... I don't want to show Sensei until it looks perfect.  (I'm such a loser.)  :)

Happy training, all

What day of the week was it today... Was it Saturday?  Since my summer job ended, I have no concept of time...

So, today was karate!  (as usual!)  Today's class was H-san, V-san, A-san, C-san, B-san, and me.  (Hm... I just realized how different everyone's last name is...)

Before the adult class on Saturday is the kids class.  I usually try to show up a little later than usual, since Sensei always makes early arrivals do really exhausting things... but, today I ended up getting roped into doing something exhausting anyway.  Sensei had us have a "competition" with the kids, to see which class had the better shikodachi.  The losers had to do push-ups, while the winners got to add resistance.  As usual, Sensei made it so that the adults won once, and the kids won once.  So, basically, lots of push-ups, and lots of holding shikodachi for a long time before I was warmed up.  Bleh.

Anyway, moving on to the adult class~

As usual, I was paired with the girl kouhai, B-san, for most of my partner work.  That was fine, since it's nice to help out kouhai, but I got so spoiled by my first three months of training (during which no new students joined, so I was ALWAYS working with a senior student,) that I couldn't help but want to switch partners a little more often...

I wonder why Sensei has me work with her so often.  Maybe it's our relative size?  Or, maybe he knows I probably won't overpower her and hurt her during drills like some of the more senior students might?  Or, maybe he just thinks she could use a female role model?  (Could I even possibly be role model material at this point?)  Hm.

Today's theme was spinning heel kicks, which are extremely awesome!  Unfortunately, I'm awful at them.  At least I didn't fall over during class.  We also worked on roundhouse kicks, as a lead-in for the heel kick.  Those seem to be moving along nicely.  My power and accuracy seem to be steadily improving.

When class was over, Sensei called up the brown belts, (H-san, V-san, and A-san,) to do Shisochin one time and give them advice about it.  I wanted to watch, so I sat down in seiza.  Then, my kouhai sat down.... Then, C-san sat down.  After the kata was done, Sensei said to us, "Class is over, you know."  He then started describing, in great detail, why exactly we were all sitting.  "See, she [me] was thinking, 'I want to learn,' so she sat down to watch... and then she [B-san] didn't want to be left out, since they're good buddies now, so, she sat down.  Then, he [C-san] started worrying, and thinking, 'Did I miss something?  Is class not over?' So, he sat down."

How astute of you, Sensei.  That's pretty much exactly what happened.

After class, I taught B-san how to tie her belt properly.  Hopefully, she'll remember how to do it for next class... and also finally take off that anklet that's stuck to her foot.

When I got out of the dressing room, Sensei and the three brown belts were still chatting, so I hung around and peered out onto the training floor at them until Sensei finally said, "You can come in, you know."  <3

During a conversation about when Sensei was once approached by a guy with a knife, Sensei said that he thought I'd definitely try to protect him if it happened again.  I wonder what that means about how he see me.  Heh...

Oh, and Sensei asked me whether I finished my chiishi, so I better get on that...  I also need to finish off his birthday present.  It just needs some little tiny additions...  Then you'll all get to see photos!

Here's a question:  When I got home, I noticed that both of my knees were clicking when I walked up and down stairs... Did I overextend my knees during kicks, or something?  Or, could it be from the extra balance exercises I've been doing?  There's no pain, just a weird click.

After class, I went to the Mitsuwa summer festival in Edgewater.  Sadly, I went alone, since I have practically no friends in the area nowadays.  It was still nice, though, and reminded me of walking around on my own when I lived in Japan.  I had ramen for dinner, ate some cotton candy, walked around, bought some food that's hard to find more locally, and watched the taiko perfomance and bon odori.  The taiko group (Taiko Masala) was really good for a small, local group... and I found out that they actually sell taiko, which I thought was awesome.  I told Sensei, since I knew he had wanted to buy a taiko years and years ago, but didn't want to pay $15,000 to have one shipped from Japan.

Well, I guess that's enough for today~

I can't even begin to describe the mix of emotions that I'm feeling right now because of the Beijing Olympics... but it seems like I'm going to try anyway.

I feel...

• insignificant because of the scale of it
• awed by the optimistic and moving imagery and emotion
• nostalgic because of my memories of Beijing and Urumqi
• melancholy because it will be a long time before I ever return there
• worried that the world will misunderstand China and the Chinese people, and think badly of them
• worried that the world will misunderstand China and the Chinese people, and think they're superhuman
• worried that the world will misunderstand the Chinese Uyghur population, and accuse them of terrorism
• amazed at the capabilities of the human body
• disappointed in myself for just sitting around eating cookies while amazing athletes and artists are realizing their dreams...

I'm sure there are more emotions in there... I just can't handle thinking about them right now.

Class today was interesting... K-san and the kouhai girl, B-san, showed up.

She was so funny today... It was raining when she was dropped off, so I let her sit in my car until Sensei showed up.  When he finally did, she was totally shocked that he was wearing street clothes and sunglasses, and literally started freaking out about it.  She was also completely shocked at his size, and kept saying how small he looked.  (For the record, I personally don't agree.  I mean... he's not a big guy, sure, but...)  I had to keep shushing her, lest he overhear.  Then, in the dressing room, she kept picking on me for trying to get the ends of my belt even.

It's interesting to compare our attitudes, I think...  I take everything about karate very seriously, from making sure to attend class as often as possible, to keeping my gi clean and wrinkle-free, to learning about karate traditions and terminology, to following the dojo rules...  It's all very serious business to me.  Of course it's also fun, and I laugh a ton during class, but I always put my whole heart into it.  B-san clearly sees class in a totally different light, though.  She constantly makes fun my seriousness, definitely sees Sensei as being a totally normal guy, (which he is, obviously, but I still idolize -- er... I mean, respect him greatly...) doesn't care all that much about the rules (like taking off jewelry, or putting wet shoes in the back room,)... just totally different than me.  I wonder what inspired her to join, and what she gets out of class.  I should ask.

Anyway, today, my kouhai learned stance kata for the first time, and K-san and I had to demonstrate that and the kihon kata quite a few times.  I KNEW I should have been spending more time on kata on my own... *sigh*  Although he didn't say so directly, Sensei definitely implied that I haven't been keeping them up to snuff.  I'm definitely going to try to do each kata I know at least once per day for now on.  I really don't like when Sensei half-kinda-semi-implies that I'm not doing something as well as I should be.

Other advice I was given... stop looking up and around the room.  Yeah, I definitely still need to work on that.  Focusing my eyes is a problem for me.  Also, I need to lift my right knee higher on my front kicks.  I was surprised about that one, since my right side is usually so much stronger than my left.  Why would my right kicks be lower?

My performance in class definitely wasn't very good today... but I did start to feel a little more like a senpai, so that was fun.  When B-san wasn't switching stances correctly, (she was turning on her heels, rather than the balls of her feet,) Sensei told her that if she messed up again, he'd make me do push-ups.  The fact that he was willing to punish me in such a manner made me feel a little more like I belonged.  (Does that make sense?  at all?)  Sensei is definitely starting to go a bit harder on me in other ways too.  Today, he slapped me really hard on the hand during yoi (which, apparently, Chinen-sensei was fond of doing,) to make sure that I was putting some strength behind it.

So, I asked about private bo classes, and Sensei said that he would offer them... so... I'll think about it.  For now, I'm going to try to research a bit on my own, though, and see what I can learn by myself.

I'm so tired of overeating and eating bad food and sitting around being lazy all day.  This stops NOW.  Whenever I get the urge to overeat, I will say to myself, "you do not need, nor want, that food."  I will repeat it many times if necessary.  When I eat a meal, I will eat slowly, and only to the point where I feel sated.  I will not feel bad about leaving food on my plate.  Whenever I'm sitting around, at least one part of my body will be training.

See you next time!

Warning: This entry contains little to no information about martial arts!... but a ton of information about things that are tangetially related to martial arts.  Sorry about that.

So, I'm kind of disappointed that I'm not invited to Sensei's birthday party.  I mean, I know I shouldn't be, and I'm honestly not even all that surprised, since the only two people that I actually know are attending have been at the dojo for years.  Still, when you see someone almost every day for four months, you feel kind of close to him... Plus, it would be nice to give Sensei his gift during an actual party.  But, maybe it'll actually be nicer to give it to him separately, so I can watch him open it.

The price of class is going up next month to $120.  It's not all that different from $115, so I can't really complain... but it's still kind of annoying.  How much do your schools charge for karate?  I know $120 seems a little steep, but I don't think it's actually all that high for schools in this area.  Plus, we don't have any testing fees or anything... and I personally think the quality of instruction is worth at least twice that price.  But, I'm biased.

Anyway, I found out that the price went up because Sensei put a bulletin up on the wall.  On the same sheet, other costs were listed... the prices for kids and teens, the introductory week price, etc.  Then, under that... "private lessons - $40 per half hour."

PRIVATE LESSONS?  SENSEI OFFERS PRIVATE LESSONS??  WHY DIDN'T I KNOW THIS BEFORE??

This is amazing news to me.  My first thought was, "I wonder if he'll teach me private bo lessons..."  I'd definitely be willing to pay for that.  I think I'll ask Sensei about it tomorrow, when class is small, and he'll have time to talk to me.

Okay... I guess I'll actually talk about class now.  Today we were doing knee strikes, and I discovered that I'm really not very good at them at all...  I have a hard time generating any power. By the end of class, I had improved a bit, but I think I still looked pretty weak.  In happier news, when Sensei called up "one white belt!!" to hit the heavy bag, I jumped up first.  (We were basically supposed to wail on it as the class cheered us on.)  Usually, that kind of thing makes me too nervous or embarrassed to volunteer.  (Maybe I think if I'm a super-good student, Sensei will invite me to his party!! ... kidding, kidding...)

I also seemed to be the more popular to cheer on between W-san and me, but I figure that's just because I've been there longer... and possibly just because I'm "the girl."  Speaking of that... Everyone in class was calling, "Go Michele!" instead of "Go, L-san!" even though calling people by their first names during class is against the rules.  It's 'cause I'm a girl, isn't it?

I got really exhausted again today.  I wonder if I'm pushing myself harder than usual during class...  I guess that would be a good thing.

I think the reason why my push-ups don't seem to be improving is because I'm just doing better push-ups now than I was when I started.  I wasn't doing them on my knees or anything, but I wasn't getting very close to the floor when I went down.  I think, as I've improved, my form has just gotten better, but the amount of push-ups I can do hasn't really increased.  It's kind of annoying, actually.

Well, I could go on, but I'll stop for now.  Happy training, everyone!

Something about the vibe in class today was a little weird.  I think it's because my one kouhai never laughs, or even smiles, during or after class.  He also rarely, rarely talks... which is weird because I met his father, and his father can't seem to stop talking.  I wonder how that happened.

We worked on mawashi geri (roundhouse kicks) today, and I think I've definitely improved since last time.  I have much less trouble getting grip, and I can kick at a number of heights without too much of a problem.  My form isn't great, and my balance could be much better after the kick, but I think I did pretty well.  My power's not too bad, and my distancing is getting better, although I tend to stand a bit too close.

I got to be uke quite a bit today, which was fun.  Sensei seems to usually choose young, high-ranking students to be uke.  (H-san tends to be his uke of choice, when he's around.)  But, since I've recently been in a lot of classes full of aging black belts and young white belts, the job has been falling on me more and more often.  It makes me so proud.  :)

I got really exhausted in class for some reason.  Is doing push-ups on a mat harder than it is on a hard floor?  I felt like I was having a ton more trouble than usual today.  I also got really tired doing kicks.  I was even yawning, and I got plenty of sleep last night... (and class wasn't boring either, so that's not the reason.)  Maybe I didn't have enough water before class?

After class, we stood around and talked about fashion again.  It made me realize that I have no idea what people are wearing nowadays.  I'm so out of touch with my generation.  Heh..

Whoops!  Nearly forgot to update today.

Today was an oddly small Monday class.  Only five people showed up.  H-san came back from his working vacation in Japan, though.  It was nice to see him again, although we aren't exactly too friendly.  He's still part of my dojo family.

Today's class focused on mawashi geri (roundhouse kick,) the kakato geri (heel kick) that looks kind of like a reverse mawashi geri, and a number of interesting takedowns you can use to counter them, or work off of them if they fail.  The one that was new to me was the following:  After executing a kakato geri, if your leg is captured, drop to your hand, kick up your supporting leg, and kick out your opponent's legs from behind.  It's pretty awesome.  I don't usually get to drop people so dramatically.

I definitely think my mawashi geri has improved.  It's not good, by any means, but it's much better than before.

I really like how I'm still continually seeing progress in my training.  I've heard that once you get to a certain level, (especially once you become a black belt,) you stop noticing improvement, even if others might notice it.  That worries me, since I tend to give up and quit in situations like that...  I hope karate will be different.

I've really gotten spoiled by my new gi.  When I was working with some people today that still wear beginner gi, I kept feeling like i was going to rip their clothes in half during takedowns.  Plus, it was really hard to get a good grip on them, since those gi are so soft, and they lie so close to the body.  (I guess it's good practice for taking down people wearing regular street clothes, but it sure does make techniques harder to perform.)  I always have to spend an extra moment or so to make sure that I'm holding onto gi, and not arm skin or shoulder hair.  I definitely wouldn't want to rip off anyone's shoulder hair... Although, I'm sure some people with hairy shoulders wouldn't mind so much if it was gone.

The yellow belt kid in my class (whose name I will NEVER figure out) was so funny today.  Sensei kept calling the two of us "the kouhai" all class, and he was so obviously irritated by it.  Each time we were told, "okay, now the kouhai together," he would give me this bizarre. embarrassed look.  I guess he likes to think of himself as a senpai, since he's been there a year, and there are a number of people lower than him on the seniority chain.  But, "haw haw," I say to him.  I really have no sympathy  ... I'm so bad.  :D

Sensei's birthday is coming up, and I'm working on an awesome present for him.  Expect photos sometime in the next week, along with photos of my finished chiishi

Remember this?:

"The mats are still down in the dojo, so I have a feeling that we'll be doing a lot of [grappling] for at least a week.  Well, that and using training implements that could potentially damage the hardwood floor."

Did I call it, or what? Today's theme was hojo undo!  ...  Well, actually, the theme was probably something more like improving sanchin, awase tsuki (double handed punch,) or yoko uke (side block,) but you know what I mean.

My dojo has a lot of traditional-style hodo undo equipment, including chiishi, kongoken, tan, and nigiri game, but we use certain things much more than others.  (Check out this neat chart to know what I'm talking about!)  We use chiishi fairly often, and I've used the kongoken once before, but today was the first time I used the tan.  Instead of a traditional barbell-style tan, though, we basically have... a log.  (Here's a photo of a kid in the teen class having a super fun time with our tan.)

I've mentioned before how much I love using traditional training equipment... and I've mentioned before how I love getting a nice set of bruises from hard training... so, today was fairly awesome.  Thanks to the chiishi and tan, I have a set of ridiculous-looking bruises all up and down my forearms.  (I'll take some photos for you guys tomorrow, when they're more fully developed.)  I still wonder why I bruise so easily, though.  No one else in class seems to come out of class looking quite like I do.

I'm actually glad that I don't have work on Monday, because I'd hate to have to explain myself.  "Karate" is a good excuse when you have a few black and blue marks... but when your whole arm is covered, people get suspicious.  But... at the same time, I kind of like when people notice and ask.  It gives me a chance to talk about karate with people that wouldn't otherwise know to ask about it ... Plus, I like getting the chance to show off my "battle scars."

Bleh... I knew I shouldn't have skipped writing an entry yesterday.  Now I've totally forgotten what we did.  Heh...

*thinks* Alright... let's see.  Yesterday was Thursday...  Oh!  I remember!

Yesterday we did a TON of grappling.  The mats are still down in the dojo, so I have a feeling that we'll be doing a lot of that kind of thing for at least a week.  Well, that and using training implements that could potentially damage the hardwood floor.  Sensei is REALLY anal about the floor, so he doesn't let us use weapons or heavy training equipment very often, lest we drop them.  :)

So, anyway, grappling!  I have very little experience with grappling, other than a few basic techniques, so every